Ad Hoc Fiction

Danny and Steve have a pint
"Rita said she saw Bob at the Festival Hall. Said 'e had a splint on his nose."
   "'E 'as got a splint on his nose. He got into a fight with Micky McEntee about um… about string theory. Mick took issue with his views on quantum chromodynamics and glassed him."
   "Fackin' 'ell. Typical Mick."
   "Yeah, fackin' typical of Mick. D'you remember when Karl Brady said that Leibniz’s critique of Cartesian dualism was facile, and Mick kneecapped him?"
   "Yeah. Yeah. 'Arsh."
   "That was 'arsh."
   "Karl was out of order tho."
   "'E was. 'E fackin' was. It’s like that time Micky plunged a corkscrew into Dean Makepeace’s chest, pulled out his heart, and then shoved it into Dean’s mouth before he died. Yeah – that was 'arsh. But what was Dean doing calling Piers the Plowman tonally uneven? You make a provocative comment like that…"
   "'S gonna be consequences."
   "'S gonna be consequences."